This paper presents a new adaptive tuned mass damper (TMD) whose stiffness and damping can be tuned in real-time to changing frequencies of a target structure. The adaptive TMD consists of a tuned mass, a tuned passive spring and a magnetorheological (MR) damper. The MR damper is used to emulate controlled friction–viscous damping and controlled stiffness. The controlled positive or negative stiffness emulated by the MR damper works in parallel to the stiffness of the passive TMD spring. The resulting overall TMD stiffness can therefore be varied around the passive spring stiffness using the MR damper. Both the emulated stiffness and friction–viscous damping in the MR damper are controlled such that the resulting overall TMD stiffness and damping are adjusted according to Den Hartog's formulae. Simulations demonstrate that the adaptive TMD with a controlled MR damper provides the same reduction of steady state vibration amplitudes in the target structure as a passive TMD if the target structure vibrates at the nominal frequency. However, if the target structure vibrates at different frequencies, e.g. due to changed service loads, the adaptive TMD with a controlled MR damper outperforms the passive TMD by up to several 100% depending on the frequency change.