We compute the complete set of two-loop master integrals for the scattering of four massless particles and a massive one. Our results are ready for phenomenological applications, removing a major obstacle to the computation of complete next-to-next-to-leading order QCD corrections to processes such as the production of a H/Z/W boson in association with two jets at the LHC. Furthermore, they open the door to new investigations into the structure of quantum-field theories and provide precious analytic data for studying the mathematical properties of Feynman integrals.